Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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