He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
