she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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