She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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