I didn't shave. On purpose
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
