How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
