omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
