My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
