butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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