i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He did a backflip because drugs
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
