I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We got so high we made milksteak
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
