party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
