Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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