To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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