You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
