My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
