I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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