Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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