I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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