Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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