I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I need to calm my uterus...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
