So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
