Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
