if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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