i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
