My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
