you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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