Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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