Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
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We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize