I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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