The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
