your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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