He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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