She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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