he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
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I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
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he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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