wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
