I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
