what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
