Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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