so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
