Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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