i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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