he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
