so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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