i just had sex bonerless
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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