I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
