i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
