Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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