He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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