There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize