he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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