My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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