Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
