it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
