Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
