As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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