So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
