I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
