Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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