Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
