yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
