I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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