Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize