Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
There's even glitter on my cock...
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