And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
