i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
