Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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