I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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