he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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