I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
