her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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