my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Alive.
So much puke
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
