Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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