OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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